I kinda thought with this being Friday and all that I would hear from Lauren again (I have the last 2 Fridays), but I did not hear from her today. After calling me 5 times last Friday, saying she wanted to come over here, I got ready to go get her and waited for to call and tell me she was ready. She never called back. I guess that tells it all...she is not ready!
We have started thinking less and less about her, which I thought would never happen. In the beginning, our thoughts were consumed by her. Now, we are trying to move on. We have another meeting at the Village tomorrow to learn about myths and misconceptions about adoption. That one should be interesting. I have also contacted 2 adoption attorneys. One talked to me on the phone for a little while and gave me some common sense advice, but told me to hurry - we aren't getting any younger! I am still waiting for the other one to call me back and he is the one I really want to talk to. I just have a feeling he is giong to be able to offer us some alternatives we haven't even thought of.
Please continue to pray for us, and let's not forget about Lauren. No matter want happens with us and our journey, she still needs our prayers and her precious baby still needs a loving and safe home.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Well, we never heard form Lauren anymore this weekend. While I do have a feeling we will hear from her again, I know it will be at her convenience and when she needs someone to take advantage of. And I do not believe we want to be those people. I know where my heart is...I want to help her, take care of her, and help her get her life on the right track. But that is not what she wants from us. If that is what she wanted, she would have taken advantage of the help that has already been offered to her. She has had the opportunity to recieve help from several non-profit pregnancy homes/centers and she has refused the help. Why should we offer more? I think she wants help, along with the freedom to continue to live her life making bad choices. And as much as I want to follow my heart, I have to guard my heart. A good friend told me to be very careful and not let ourselves be taken advantage of - and she got brutally honest with me and told me that there will probably not be a baby for us in the end of this situation. What a hard reality to realize...after 20 short days, I have become attached. Something I thought I could resist.
And even though there may not be a baby for us in this particular situation, lots of good had come out of it. Kevin and I have become much closer (I didn't even know that was possible). We have talked about so much over the last few weeks, cried together and seen sides of each other we didn't know existed. I have become so much more thankful, appreciative, and proud of my kids. God really blessed us with Kady and Chad, and now Liz. And we have grown closer to friends that have always been there, but now it's different. You know who you are and we love you guys so much! Thanks for checking up on me and giving me things to think about besides Lauren! And we know God is in control and has a plan for us. He does not give us an appetite that He cannot satisfy.
This afternoon, we went to a FAM meeting at the Village Church in Flower Mound and we are planning to go to another one Saturday night. FAM stands for Foster and Adoption Ministry. For years, we have wanted another child and after many doctors, procedures, tests, medicines, and attempts, we have not been successful. We recently got the very disappointing news that having a child on our own would be very unlikely and there are other options we should consider quickly (because of our age). For so long, we have said it is up to God. Whatever is meant to be will be. Now I realize, we have used that as an excuse for not doing anything about it. I'm not sure if it has been fear or laziness or what. But we have figured out that we can't just sit around and wait for a baby to fall in our lap. If that is what we want, we need to be serious about it; do something; shit or get off the pot! There are medical procedures still available that we could try (at a very hefty price) but I don't feel like that would be the right thing to do. I think that there is a child that needs us. Maybe even 2 or 3 children. And I don't have to give birth to them for them to be a child of our own.
Our next step is to find an adoption attorney that can guide us in this process. Does anyone know someone they can refer?
We know some people will think we are crazy at our age to want to raise children again. We don't care. ...we may be. We just have a lot of love to share. And we need your prayers. Thank you all for reading.
And even though there may not be a baby for us in this particular situation, lots of good had come out of it. Kevin and I have become much closer (I didn't even know that was possible). We have talked about so much over the last few weeks, cried together and seen sides of each other we didn't know existed. I have become so much more thankful, appreciative, and proud of my kids. God really blessed us with Kady and Chad, and now Liz. And we have grown closer to friends that have always been there, but now it's different. You know who you are and we love you guys so much! Thanks for checking up on me and giving me things to think about besides Lauren! And we know God is in control and has a plan for us. He does not give us an appetite that He cannot satisfy.
This afternoon, we went to a FAM meeting at the Village Church in Flower Mound and we are planning to go to another one Saturday night. FAM stands for Foster and Adoption Ministry. For years, we have wanted another child and after many doctors, procedures, tests, medicines, and attempts, we have not been successful. We recently got the very disappointing news that having a child on our own would be very unlikely and there are other options we should consider quickly (because of our age). For so long, we have said it is up to God. Whatever is meant to be will be. Now I realize, we have used that as an excuse for not doing anything about it. I'm not sure if it has been fear or laziness or what. But we have figured out that we can't just sit around and wait for a baby to fall in our lap. If that is what we want, we need to be serious about it; do something; shit or get off the pot! There are medical procedures still available that we could try (at a very hefty price) but I don't feel like that would be the right thing to do. I think that there is a child that needs us. Maybe even 2 or 3 children. And I don't have to give birth to them for them to be a child of our own.
Our next step is to find an adoption attorney that can guide us in this process. Does anyone know someone they can refer?
We know some people will think we are crazy at our age to want to raise children again. We don't care. ...we may be. We just have a lot of love to share. And we need your prayers. Thank you all for reading.
Friday, February 19, 2010
status on Lauren from 02/01 to 02/19
Sorry this will be long, but please understand that it helps me to share. And I want you to know as much as possible so you will know what to pray about. That is my request - that you will PRAY - for Lauren and for her baby.
Almost 3 weeks ago, I got a phone call from a friend who knows that Kevin and I would love to have a baby. She told me about a young woman who is pregnant that may be considering adoption. We met her that night at the friend's house. Lauren is 22 years old and 5 - 6 months pregnant. It's a boy! We were overwhelmed with emotion for the next several days. Anxiously waiting to hear from her - something, anything. But we did not. A week later, I called her to tell her that she had been on my mind since our meeting. I am truly concerned for her; where was she, was she warm, hungry, scared? She does not have a good relationship with her mom, but she was staying there most nights and with friends other nights. (We have since learned that some of those nights were spent in hotels - ???) During that short phone conversation, I did get to tell her that I was in a similar situation when I was about her age. I was pregnant, unmarried, and hopelessly in love with my baby's father. I thought having a baby would make everything perfect. But that is not how it worked out. We did not talk for long, she was on her way out. But something I said must have stuck with her. She said she was going to the doctor the next day for a sonogram and she asked if I wanted a picture. She said she would call me back on Wednesday...
...Next chapter in our story...
I did not hear from Lauren Wednesday, but she did call me Friday morning. She was upset because she had just had a major fight with her mom and she was going to a maternity home in San Antionio. Well, somehow, we talked her into staying here and thinking about this first. Then Friday afternoon, we went and picked her up at a friend's house and she was going to stay at out house for a few days. I am not positive, but I am pretty sure when we picked her up, she was high as a kite! Very disoriented, slurred speach, red eyes with dark sunglasses, and as soon as she got here she wanted to EAT! She ate a sandwich and chips, smoked a cigarette and then took a 5 hour nap. While she was sleeping, I baked. I made 5 dozen oatmeal raisin cookies and 7 1/2 dozen dog treats. And we ordered pizza. She woke up a little after 10:00 and ate pizza, fresh pineapple, and homemade cookies - LOTS OF COOKIES - and drank a glass of milk, orange juice, sunny D, and chocolate milk! We talked for a little while and then she went back to sleep again about 11:30. Saturday morning she came down around 8:45 for a cookie and went right back upstairs. I cooked breakfast, but she did not come back down to eat. We found out that she has been to several doctors and each one of them has given her a different due date, but it's somewhere between May 10 and May 25. And she does have a sonogram picture. She does not have long to make up her mind what she wants to do. Please continue to pray that she will make good choices and that the baby will be OK. Friday night, she did not admit that she is currently doing drugs, but she did say that at the beginning of her pregnancy (when she was contemplating abortion) she did drink, smoke pot, and smoke meth. But I know when she woke up from her long nap, she was a different person - whatever she was on had worn off. I am definitely concerned for the baby, but she said she has told all the doctors about her drug use. I know we cannot completely believe someone who is addicted to drugs...and I have a strong feeling she is. I'm not sure what we've gotten ourselves into, but in my heart, I still feel like we are doing the right thing. She needs help and she needs someone that is truly concerned for HER. I have never been in that place before (addicted to drugs) so I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like. I just know she has a tough road ahead with many twists and turns and bumps along the way. And somewhere along that journey, there will be a short stop to give birth, hopefully to a healthy baby boy. I would love to be able to take care of him, love him, and raise him in our family. But if it's not us that gets that priviledge, I do want to be sure that someone does.
Sunday night, after being here for 48 hours, Lauren asked if we would mind if she went to a friend's house. I took her and against my better judgement, I left her at a house I am sure was not safe. It was awful and in the worst part of town. Before we left our house, Kevin asked her if she would be coming back and she said yes. So we waited to hear from her, and waited, and waited. The next morning, after a long sleepless night, we both had trouble concentrating on normal activities. Monday was a long day. Tuesday was no better, but I got a call around noon from Lauren's mom. She had my number from a message I had left for Lauren after the first week I met her. And apparently Lauren had talked about us. Shw wanted to let me know that a woman from Sound Options Pregnancy Services had called for Lauren and she had found a place for Lauren if she was still interested. We talked for about an hour and I learned that she deeply loves her daughter and is worried about her, but does not know what else to do. She has been dealing with Lauren's issues for the last 6 years. I told her I would try to find Lauren and relay the message about the pregnany center and that her mom loves her. I tried calling Lauren at a number I had for her, but someone answered and said she was not there. They were to give her a message. She never returned my call.
Kevin and I went on about our week, trying not to think about all this, and not being very successful at it. Then Thursday night, my phone rang and it was a number I did not know. I answered and heard Lauren talking in the background, but not to me. Then they hung up. They called back 2 hours later and hung up when I answered.
Then this morning, another call came from another unknown number. I could not answer it and they did not leave a message. Then about 10 minutes later, another call from a private number and this time I could answer. It was Lauren. She gave me some story about losing my number and leaving town for a few days because a friend of hers had died. She sopke quickly and in broken sentences, changing from one topic to the next quickly. I asked what she wants and she said she does not know, but she would like to come back here. I told her she could, but the first thing we would do it sit down with her and have a long serious talk. I will not let her take advantage of us or lead us on, but I want to make sure she is safe. She called me back 4 more times during the day, each time telling me she was trying to get a ride over here. I told her I would not drop everything and come get her because I was working. But I told her I would come get her after work. She called me back the last time a little after 4:00 and I told her I would come get her - she said give her about an hour and she would call me back. Its 6:30 and I have not heard from her...
Almost 3 weeks ago, I got a phone call from a friend who knows that Kevin and I would love to have a baby. She told me about a young woman who is pregnant that may be considering adoption. We met her that night at the friend's house. Lauren is 22 years old and 5 - 6 months pregnant. It's a boy! We were overwhelmed with emotion for the next several days. Anxiously waiting to hear from her - something, anything. But we did not. A week later, I called her to tell her that she had been on my mind since our meeting. I am truly concerned for her; where was she, was she warm, hungry, scared? She does not have a good relationship with her mom, but she was staying there most nights and with friends other nights. (We have since learned that some of those nights were spent in hotels - ???) During that short phone conversation, I did get to tell her that I was in a similar situation when I was about her age. I was pregnant, unmarried, and hopelessly in love with my baby's father. I thought having a baby would make everything perfect. But that is not how it worked out. We did not talk for long, she was on her way out. But something I said must have stuck with her. She said she was going to the doctor the next day for a sonogram and she asked if I wanted a picture. She said she would call me back on Wednesday...
...Next chapter in our story...
I did not hear from Lauren Wednesday, but she did call me Friday morning. She was upset because she had just had a major fight with her mom and she was going to a maternity home in San Antionio. Well, somehow, we talked her into staying here and thinking about this first. Then Friday afternoon, we went and picked her up at a friend's house and she was going to stay at out house for a few days. I am not positive, but I am pretty sure when we picked her up, she was high as a kite! Very disoriented, slurred speach, red eyes with dark sunglasses, and as soon as she got here she wanted to EAT! She ate a sandwich and chips, smoked a cigarette and then took a 5 hour nap. While she was sleeping, I baked. I made 5 dozen oatmeal raisin cookies and 7 1/2 dozen dog treats. And we ordered pizza. She woke up a little after 10:00 and ate pizza, fresh pineapple, and homemade cookies - LOTS OF COOKIES - and drank a glass of milk, orange juice, sunny D, and chocolate milk! We talked for a little while and then she went back to sleep again about 11:30. Saturday morning she came down around 8:45 for a cookie and went right back upstairs. I cooked breakfast, but she did not come back down to eat. We found out that she has been to several doctors and each one of them has given her a different due date, but it's somewhere between May 10 and May 25. And she does have a sonogram picture. She does not have long to make up her mind what she wants to do. Please continue to pray that she will make good choices and that the baby will be OK. Friday night, she did not admit that she is currently doing drugs, but she did say that at the beginning of her pregnancy (when she was contemplating abortion) she did drink, smoke pot, and smoke meth. But I know when she woke up from her long nap, she was a different person - whatever she was on had worn off. I am definitely concerned for the baby, but she said she has told all the doctors about her drug use. I know we cannot completely believe someone who is addicted to drugs...and I have a strong feeling she is. I'm not sure what we've gotten ourselves into, but in my heart, I still feel like we are doing the right thing. She needs help and she needs someone that is truly concerned for HER. I have never been in that place before (addicted to drugs) so I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like. I just know she has a tough road ahead with many twists and turns and bumps along the way. And somewhere along that journey, there will be a short stop to give birth, hopefully to a healthy baby boy. I would love to be able to take care of him, love him, and raise him in our family. But if it's not us that gets that priviledge, I do want to be sure that someone does.
Sunday night, after being here for 48 hours, Lauren asked if we would mind if she went to a friend's house. I took her and against my better judgement, I left her at a house I am sure was not safe. It was awful and in the worst part of town. Before we left our house, Kevin asked her if she would be coming back and she said yes. So we waited to hear from her, and waited, and waited. The next morning, after a long sleepless night, we both had trouble concentrating on normal activities. Monday was a long day. Tuesday was no better, but I got a call around noon from Lauren's mom. She had my number from a message I had left for Lauren after the first week I met her. And apparently Lauren had talked about us. Shw wanted to let me know that a woman from Sound Options Pregnancy Services had called for Lauren and she had found a place for Lauren if she was still interested. We talked for about an hour and I learned that she deeply loves her daughter and is worried about her, but does not know what else to do. She has been dealing with Lauren's issues for the last 6 years. I told her I would try to find Lauren and relay the message about the pregnany center and that her mom loves her. I tried calling Lauren at a number I had for her, but someone answered and said she was not there. They were to give her a message. She never returned my call.
Kevin and I went on about our week, trying not to think about all this, and not being very successful at it. Then Thursday night, my phone rang and it was a number I did not know. I answered and heard Lauren talking in the background, but not to me. Then they hung up. They called back 2 hours later and hung up when I answered.
Then this morning, another call came from another unknown number. I could not answer it and they did not leave a message. Then about 10 minutes later, another call from a private number and this time I could answer. It was Lauren. She gave me some story about losing my number and leaving town for a few days because a friend of hers had died. She sopke quickly and in broken sentences, changing from one topic to the next quickly. I asked what she wants and she said she does not know, but she would like to come back here. I told her she could, but the first thing we would do it sit down with her and have a long serious talk. I will not let her take advantage of us or lead us on, but I want to make sure she is safe. She called me back 4 more times during the day, each time telling me she was trying to get a ride over here. I told her I would not drop everything and come get her because I was working. But I told her I would come get her after work. She called me back the last time a little after 4:00 and I told her I would come get her - she said give her about an hour and she would call me back. Its 6:30 and I have not heard from her...
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