Happy Mother's Day! I have tried so hard to move on and not think about Lauren. But today was hard. I have not heard from Lauren and I don't know if she has had her baby yet. Her due date was somewhere between May 10 and May 25. I hope she is safe and is taking care of herself. I also thought about her mother today - when I talked to her in February, it was obvious that she loves her daughter. She was just out of ideas of how she can help her; and Lauren does need help. I spent the day with both of my kids today and I can't imagine how her mom must have felt today if she hasn't spoken to Lauren, if she doesn't know where she is or if she is OK, or if she is a grandmother yet.
It may not be part of God's plan for me to be a mother to another child, but I do still feel like there are so many children who need to be loved and cared for. I still feel like we have something to offer and I feel like there is someone who needs us. I just have not figured out how we will find our place. But I am still searching and not giving up. Lord lead me, and I will follow.